Ch1 Okami Sparkles (Waka x Sugawara x Reader Comedy Thing)
by D-link-16
Summary: This isn't really a crossover, there is just some Zelda/other videogame references in here. But this is mainly meant for humor. I don't know why there isn't a Okami Den option or why Sugawara isn't in the charactor listing but if you don't know he is from the game Okami Den. You are alone with Sugawara in Waka's house when Waka comes home..
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1 Okami Sparkles (Waka x Sugawara x Reader Comedy Thing)

**Author's note:**

**(Okay so this is going to be more comedy related then anything. At least in the beginning chapter. I might decide to turn it into something else but we'll see. This is based off a couple of jokes me and my friends made and decided to turn it into something. **

**Anyways, it is mainly referenced off the videogame **_**Okami**_**. There is some other game references and an inside joke or too.**

**If you don't know who Debbie is, he is from the videogame franchise, **_**The Legend of Zelda. **_**And is from the Zelda game, **_**Skyward Sword**_**. He is the antagonist who has the internet name "Debbie". I don't know why they just call him that.**

**And finally an explanation to the inside joke, "Tank's Restaurant." My friends and I were playing **_**Left For Dead**_** and we were facing one of the tanks. Well, I had fell down into the abandon swamp restaurant and the tank fell in pursuit with me. However it was amusing to us because he had fallen right behind the counter so I said,**

"**Welcome to Tank's restaurant, can I take your order?" **

**So we have always had this inside joke that he had a restaurant and all the videogame related people would hang there like a hot spot.)**

Sugawara pinned you to Waka's desk, he pulled out Waka's flute and pressed you further against the pompous moon tribe's work space.

He smirked when he saw your startled expression, not only at his actions but at the half baked profit's instrument.

"Oh where's Waka you ask? Why do I have his flute? Oh trust me that fruitcakes been here before…"

He chuckled at your blush and shocked reaction.

"Yes that's right I made his cherry blossom bloom. His sparkles went everywhere."

Your breathing quickened with his next words.

"Now it's your sapling now that I'm going to bloom to get your cherry bomb to explode.", he purred slyly.

"I hope you learned Ami's brush strokes well..", he added before he leaned in.

As you leaned away you saw a particular painting on the desk. You studied it a little more and saw it was Issun's work. Your eyes widened when you realized who it was. Sugawara grinned at you in amusement as he noticed this.

"You think Issun hated that fruitcake eh? That was just a cover.. He didn't want anyone to know about Waka's special painting requests… He would say in his weird foreign language _Draw me like one of the French girls Issun_.."

You screamed in sheer horror.

"What kind of fucked up shit do you smoke on the moon?!", you exclaimed.

He chuckled even more and slowly slide the fruitcakes flute up against your thighs very sensually making you involuntarily shudder.

"Yes Waka could walk on water but he couldn't that time because it was too much," he giggled. "His notes he plays when we use his flute can't compare… It's not the only wood he puts his lips to-"

Both of you froze when you heard the familiar gay voice.

"Bonjour! Oh Sugawara-chaaaaann, I got the oranges back from Tank's restaurant. I had a nice chat with Debbie….? What is she doing on my desk? Why do you have my flute?! I thought that was OUR thing.", the sparkly bitch said as he put his hand on his hip and stuck his wrist out.

Sugawara pushed you away and walked over to him.

"Yes…it is Your instrument isn't it Waka-chan…" He purred and wrapped his arm around his waist as pulled the gay fuck closer.

"Prophet? More like prostitute!", you say as you leaped off the desk, "I don't want to be a part of your weird kinky shit! Good bye!"

You make for the door. Waka stopped you, "You know too much. This can't get around to the trooperes."

He looked at Sugawara for conformation.

"Oh yahs, that would be bad~~ especially the pictures.", Sugawara agreed.

"You showed her the pictures?!"

"No, I just had them out… I wanted to look at them some more. But it's never better than the real thing."

Waka paused and said,

"Yeah, you're sure a queer."

He locked the door.

Sugawara smiled and said,

"Yeah, but you're much freakier than me. Remember when you tuned my flute? I remember very well. You played it so well and your fingering was just in the right place to hit the notes. The over tones were a bit too loud for my taste, but it made me remember the waterspout technique. That is a brush stroke I never want to forget.", He sighed with a slight blush.

"Yes it makes quite good pillow talk afterwards.." Waka added.

Sugawara smiled and replied,

"Would it be good to say that I forgot? Or would you be mad at me?" Waka looked at him and smiled.

"Debbie said that I should be mad at something like that, but I'll let that slide… For now!"

Sugawara was interested, so he asked,

"Oh? What did he say exactly?"

"Oh that off the desk, I should whip you into knight material! I don't know what that means, but I think it means to use a whip."

You tried to unlock the door.

"This is a conversation that should be done in privet! Not where I can hear it!", you protested your uncomforts in the background.

Waka put his hand on the door and leaned against it.

"Gaberongai!" You were so confused, but you knew that now wasn't the time to ask questions.

You turned your head to the side and shouted, "Let me out of here!"

His good looks were tainted by his horrible _pass time. _He said,

"You can't leave! You know too much!" He looked at Sugawara. "What should we do?"

Sugawara thought for a moment.

He said, "Should we kill her?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Should we imprison her here, then?", Sugawara suggested, irritated.

Waka said, " I know, we can put her in the Tao Troopers! What do you think?"  
Sugawara half smiled before he spoke.

"That's perfect! Since she already knows, she can be the guard the headquarters and if she has to, then she can watch~!"

Sugawara he laughed slightly.

"I don't want to watch _anything_!", your face was bright red.

Waka said, "That's fine, we can blindfold you if you want us to." You managed to finally push the door open, but by the time you looked up to the path Waka was already blocking your way.

Sugawara gave you a bag of money.

"Here, this is to keep quiet. And let me reassure you, there is more where that came from! Isn't that right fruitcake?"

He expected Waka to agree with him.

The moon loon replied in an expected answer.

"Of course! Sugawara-sama is very rich politician if you couldn't tell. And I got connections with queen Himiko, so if money is what you want then we have it."

Money wasn't what you wanted at All.

"You can never bribe me!"

"Well we need your cooperation. Maybe we can get Ammy to draw a cricle around you." Waka thought aloud.

Sugawara was getting ready to leave. "I have a campaign on gay rights soon, I have to leave to get there in time." He sighed and glanced at the clock tower.

Waka nodded and said,

"There is still time! GET ME MY FLUTE!"

Suga smiled as Waka continued. "I would like to check the read." Sugawara replied, "Only if you use a pick while playing my lute…It gives much better sound and it makes me want to dance!" They talked while going back inside while pushing you with them.

Waka said, "Mon cherie! Should we call Issun this time?"

"Only if he has the lucky mallet. He'd be too small otherwise~"

Sugawara smiled and said. "I wish he wouldn't use it sometimes. That sprite can put a lot of detail in his paintings when he is watching with tiny eyes."  
"It's not his eye," The blond pompous creature argued.

"It's his brush." He giggled before he let out a sigh and leaned against Sugawara more.

"Yes now I'm in the mood.."

Another mischievous grin crept onto Sugawara's face at this.

"Ushiwakamaru! To the desk!"

"That's the third time today!…Well Debbie did say three was a lucky number…" He said softly with a light blush to himself.

Once they returned to the desk you covered your face as best you could but you could still hear that gay fuck's voice.

"Suga-chaaannnnn why did you pick such an ugly girl anyways she's so hideous."  
"Well she's a guy so… That's Jake from state farm." Sugawara replied to his moon tribe blondie. You rolled your eyes in the background.

"Suga-warau!" Waka said in his gay ass voice.

You peeked your eye open to see the last terrifying image before you passed out.

Waka's last statement burned in your mind.

"Let's rock baby!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**Alright so this chapter is more plot related. And I would also like to credit my sempai, who wrote 90% of this chapter. You can follow her on this website as "Sugawarau-Sempi". **

* * *

Chapter 2:

Everyone was talking about Hayazo and what the Tao Troopers should do about the thief. You thought that it was silly that Waka could do anything but catch a petty thief. While you were there, you heard the cloud talking:  
"Queen Himiko has done _what_?"

"Have you heard about the robberies?! It's not safe in the city any longer!"

"But, what will the Tao Troopers do?!"

"I heard that there is an underground conspiracy?!"

You heard a lot frantic questions, but one stood out:  
"What will the captain of the Tao Troopers do if Queen Himiko is assassinated?! What if we lose our dear Queen?!" Everyone adored Queen Himiko! The speak of her death or even illness is unthinkable!

You returned to the commoner's quarters and went to the nearby restaurant with the money that , gave you yesterday. You were glad to be rid of it since it reminded you of the gay fucks that... possibly knew the answers to all this so called conspiracy.

You thought this over and over and boiled it down to a single decision. As much as you hated Ushiwakamaru and Sugawara, you wanted to protect the queen at all costs! Of course, the best way to do that was to warn "Captain" Waka and join the Tao Troopers. Of course, joining the Troopers wasn't something you did for free and by taking that deal, you were to be paid as well. Protecting Queen Himiko, honor, _and_ money? What could possibly go wrong?

That evening, you looked up at the Tao HQ, Waka's home, and you wondered if you could speak to him. Since it was about 50 feet off the ground, you decided against it and headed home. You turned around and ran into Sugawara.  
"Jake! What are you doing here? You know there is a thief about. Its quite dangerous for a young lady to be out.",  
"Well, I'm a guy, so..." You said in irritation, "Well, what are _you_ doing here? You're an aristocrat! You belong I, your aristocratic quarter!" You crossed your arms.  
"So sassy!" He jest and then caught on to your serious tone, "Waka lives right there. I am heading there now to see him."  
"Let me guess... you're going to have your way with Waka and..." You were rudely interrupted.  
"Ew! Gross! What are you talking about! What slander! I suggest you leave my political accusations out of my personal life!" You were so confused since you were SO SURE that he was in an intimate relationship with Waka.  
"Oh, well... I'm sorry." You we're unsure since you definitely knew that Sugawara was gay.  
He said, "It is okay. It is very demoralizing to be accused like that since I am advocating gay rights. Why are you here, Jake?" Sugawara regained a light, friendly tone.  
You said, "I thought about what you and Waka said. I want to join the Tao Troopers." Sugawara's face lit up.  
He said, "That is wonderful! _Wonderful_! Do you mind walking with me to my house? I forgot something rather important, and I need to give it to Waka before I do anything else." His smile was pleasant and inviting, so you tried to ignore all of the annoying parts of him.

Both you and Sugawara reached the large estate in a short amount of time. You always thought that the aristocratic quarter was very beautiful and serene. Sugawara's home was much like that, and you would have felt at peace if there wasn't an annoying green bouncing bug who was too busy painting.  
You immediately halted to ask, "Wait. He isn't drawing anything... scandalous is he?" Sugawara looked at you like you had two heads.

He said, "Of course not! Issun is making invitations to my birthday party! Why are you assuming the nasty?" You felt a little bad about that, but you felt like something queer was going to come up in a second.

Issun said with his tiny voice, "I had been done for hours! Why didn't you check up on me earlier?!" You remembered Issun from the first time you met Ammy. You were so grateful and very special to have met Ameterasu.

Sugawara took the lucky mallet and smashed Issun like a bug, "I'm sorry, I thought I heard a little fly in my ear." Issun grew to our size and he had a bone to pick with Sugawara about the smashing!  
"After I make you invitations, and that's how you treat me?!" He was down right cute! He was no longer a tiny bug, but a handsome young man!

Sugawara leaned on the desk, got close to his face and very sensuality told him, "I can see you that way. Now, get off of my desk!" Issun realized what he was sitting on and he hopped up.  
Issun changed the subject, "Do you want me to give the invitations out for you?" You thought it was nice of him to answer.

Sugawara looked at each one carefully, "No, I was going to do it myself. I don't want to have to pay you a second time." Sugawara handed one to you, "This is for you, Jake," he told you as he passed you an invitation.  
You read it. It said that it was his birthday in 2 days at Tank's Resutraunt. You had no idea where or what that is or was, but it didn't sound like your average traditional restaurant. You really didn't want to go because you didn't really care. All you cared about was Queen Himiko and her safety.  
You asked, "Do you know where Waka is? I want to join the Tao Troopers right away. We have business to discuss." You tried to make it clear that you weren't here because you wanted to, but because you meant business.

"Waka is at home. I was just about to see him when I ran into you. Then I remembered my birthday invitations." He gestured with a pen.  
You asked him, "When is the soonest I can speak with him?" You saw a smile creep across his face.  
"Oh, so NOW you want to see Waka! Its okay, I want to see Waka too!" He smiled at a fond memory and you frowned at it.  
You asked, "When is the soonest we can speak to Waka about joining the Tao Troopers?"

Sugawara suddenly didn't think it was very funny anymore, "What do you want with my man?!" He was being defensive.

You were a little outraged, "What's with the denial before then?! You didn't admit that before outside of Waka's house!"  
"That is out in public! I don't think you understand what is going on. I am leading a campaign on gay rights. I have been accused, publicly, several times that I am. What the people need is someone who isn't gay to lead and promote these needed rights- people won't want to listen to anything different than what they are. I can only be myself when I am at my house or at Waka's house." You kept quiet since you understood.

Sugawara pulled out a pendant out and said, "We can talk to him if you want to." You nodded since it was Waka who you wanted to talk to in the first place.

Sugawara fumbled around with the pendant and you heard Waka's voice, "Bonjour~ Suga! What did you want from me now? Dirty words or another prophecy for when I come hom?"

"What's the diffrence?" You mumbled, but only Issun heard you.  
Issun said, "Your prophecies are so fake! You're still half-baked no matter how big or small I am!" You felt that Issun was right- you could get a more...  
Keep your hand out of your pants otherwise there is no room for the flute ...accurate prophesy from a fortune cookie!

"We will talk about that later. Right now, Jake is back wanting to join the Troopers! Just like you said she would!" You hated it since Waka was right for once.

He said, "And why is that? I know Jake well enough that she didn't do things for free..." he said in a playful tone. He already knew.

You still said, "I have heard that there may be some sort of conspiracy against Queen Himiko! I have to know! I have to protect the queen!" For a second, you wondered if _they_ were a part of it.

"So, you want to help dispel that matter?" Waka asked you.

You replied, "Yes, I want to help." Waka's smile made you uneasy, yet still unshaken.

"I think we can make an arrangement. Your end of the deal is to help Sugawara with his campaign. You will get to help protect Queen Himiko, investigate on the conspiracy and get paid to be a Tao Trooper. Does that sound fair to you?"

Before your brain computed it, you blurted, "Yeah!" And you immediately felt like you had just sold your soul to a gay, sparkly, and scandalous idiot.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.３

**Another Author's note: **

**Kanekisha is the girl name we gave to Kaneki Ken from Toukyou Ghoul or Toukyou Kushu.**

Debbie crossed his legs as he leaned back into the seat with a content sigh. He rested his arm around his good friend Cia's shoulders.

"I'm actually relived I'm not working tonight…", he said as he saw one of the most popular strippers of the club, Kanekisha walk by.

"Yes but I heard her new _orange cream soda _is very popular. You got competition with your _Debbie cakes. _And speaking of which the fruitcake is 'waka'ing in the club." Cia giggled as they saw Waka and Jake approach them.

Debbie immediately lightened up at his best friend.

"So how'd it goooo?", Debbie asked the fellow gay fuck in interest.

Your eyes widened as he saw there was another powerful queer.

"Oh, he didn't really get it but it did help him to be in the mood. I strummed his strings real good.", he winked with a flustered chuckle.

"Hhmm…Maybe I should strum the sky child's strings…it would produce a much better kind of ballad.." They both giggled after Debbie said this.

"Oh I have been meaning to inquire…has my toys been treating you well?" He asked as he gave him a very matching sly and pompous look.

Debbie blushed slightly. "Yes actually…I have been wanting to use them on the Skychild but…he had a whip in the last temple and you know.."

Waka's slight blush matched his fabulous pink clothing.

"Oh I've been working on another version..I'll send you a package when I'm done." He said slyly as he glanced at his biwa sabre. Ghirahim nodded.

"Oh and who is this lovely Nippon child, Ushiwaka-chan?" The demon lord asked as he finally noticed Jake who had accompanied Waka.

"Oh this is Miss Jakki-san…she is our cover for Suga-chan's gay rights campaign." The moon blondie explained as he flipped his hair and few sparkles flew out.

"Hey guys let's play a drinking game.", Cia encouraged as she came back with lots of sake, and Vaati shakes. No one had noticed she had left however.

"Shouln't we wait for your man?" You said with lots of distates and brushed some of your fake, silky black hair behind your ear.

"A few drinks won't alter no prophesizes~" Waka argued.

"Yes it'll put a spring in my step." Agreed the gay fucks as they both sat down and drank the poured shots, Cia had poured for them.

They kept laughing and drinking while you sat there uncomfortably. You couldn't believe you had been dragged so fair into this. Dressing up like a girl? Not just any girl but pretending to be Sugawara's girlfriend. All to cover that gay sparkly fuck drinking next to you. But you thought this would eventually lead to figuring out some memories since you didn't really feel like you belonged…

Your thoughts were interrupted when Cia bumped him playfully.

"Hey you haven't drank any of your shots, you have to do a dare…", she said as she hiccupped and unconsciously let out a small fart that showed purple smoke.

Disgusted, you leaned away into Waka accidentally. Cia giggled.

"I dare you to kiss Waka."

"No! I've already my fill of those two!", you protested as you blushed darker than Debbie's red cape.

You didn't dare look Waka in the face who was no doubt enjoying your discomfort.

"No need to get all hot under the collar Jake.." Waka giggled at your embarrassment.

"Yeah, Nippon-child just do it." Ghirahim said as he let out a pompous sigh.

"That's not part of my deal! IF anything that'd be more related to Sugawara."

You protested and tried to get up but was forced to stay after Waka and Debbie suddenly fell in your lap as Waka got his happiness praise from the demon lord instead after he said:

"Fucking goddesses, this is why I hate humans. Just accept your red thread of fate and leapt first and think later as you say~ Like this."

Cia squealed loudly as you rolled your eyes. You weren't that shocked. However you didn't want to be in the middle of any gay trashcans again.

Luckily, they continued filling each other's hearts with rainbows as they tumbled off the couch. Their homo asses were heavier than any Goron patriarch. You jumped off and made sure you had some distance.

You sighed deeply and face palmed. These sparkly shits were your ride home. But then you remembered that Sugawara gave you a pendant you could talk with. You brought it out of your kimono sleeve and messed with it.

"Sugawara you dick answer your weird thing! Oh my Shiranui…." Your jaw dropped when you saw Waka get up on the stripper pole.

"Is everybody ready for my catwalk?" He said as he found his own pole.

You looked away immediately as Sugawara answered.

"My Jake! My Jake…-"

"Oh quit it." You interrupted him saying your name in a purr. "Where are you? This is Your birthday party?"

"Oh I was just on my way over my Jakki-chan."

"Yeah well you might wanna hurry your boyfriend is really drunk.."

"Hmm…I'll have to punish him later for that.." He said before he hung up as you cringed.

You sat back in one of the seats and covered your eyes with your fan as you waited impatiently for _boyfriend _to rescue you.

Sugawara walked in as fabulous as ever, sparkles flying around the room. You didn't exactly see what he saw just then but you had a good idea from Debbie and Waka groaning some.

You peeked up from your fan to see Sugawara look absolutely pissed as Waka laid on the Hylian fruitcake's chest.  
"Haapppy Birthdaaaay aha…Suga-chan? Hm would it appear I hit a raw nerve?" Waka hiccupped more. Debbie and Sugawara were having a stare down. The fellow rival Gaylord licked his lips at him tauntingly almost saying 'yeah I made out with your drunk bitch..what are you going to do about it?'.

You rushed over to Sugawara and stayed behind him. "Can we go home please?.." You whispered to him desperately.

The tall blond stood there for a moment before he smirked to himself and grabbed your hand. He threw you up in his arms dramatically and held you bridal style. You gasped and blushed slightly.

"Wh-" He cut you off with his moony lips as he kissed you passionately in front of the fellow gay shits. You were paralyzed in shock.

It took Waka a few seconds to gasp at the rebound display his boyfriend had made from his drunkenness.

You punched Sugawara hard in the cheek and crossed your arms. "This was Not a part of the deal!" He had a very devious smile and you widened your eyes as you figured out what he was up to. You sighed and hid your face with your fan again. "Ughhh I just want to go home.." You mumbled, also hiding your blush.

Waka slowly went over and as soon as Waka was away from the pale diamond dude he threw you into Waka's arms. Both of you grunted as you saw a big flash from the fabulous fighting. Everything happened in a flash and you saw lots of diamonds and snapping and rainbows flying everywhere along with lots of clanging of weapons.

Cia laughed and kept her distance. Waka sort of snoozed off to the side where you helped him to safety with you.  
Tank soon kicked them out easily from all the commotion.

Debbie sighed once they were out on the pavement. "Happy Birthday. It was a pleasure~" the gay trashcan said as he stumbled a little from his alcohol consumption and disappeared in a sea of diamonds. His teleportation catching his fall right as the police showed up.

You sighed but stayed clear as you saw the blondes arguing loudly as they were taken downtown.

You sighed from the distance as you knew you were probably going to be the one bailing them out.


End file.
